Kigali

Reba amwe mu mabanga akomeye abagore bubatse bafite abagabo bakwigira ku ndaya

Opinion   Yanditswe na: Martin Munezero 27 June 2018 Yasuwe: 5358

Hari abagore bahora bahangayitse ngo indaya cyangwa abandi bagore/abakobwa bakiri bato babatwaye abagabo. Niba ushaka gutsinda ikipe muhanganye, kumenya amayeri n’uburyo ikina ni ryo banga rikomeye.

N’ubwo uburaya abantu babufata nk’ikintu kigayitse ariko hari amabanga aba bakobwa bicuruza bagira mu rwego rwo kureshya abagabo umugore yabigiraho na we akaba yabasha gushimisha no kwegukana umutima w’umugabo we.

Iyi nkuru ntigamije kwamamaza cyangwa gushimagiza indaya ahubwo ikigamijwe ni ugufasha abagore bafite abagabo babo batwawe n’indaya, abandi bagore cyangwa inkumi z’ubu. Igamije kandi gufasha abagore kumenya no kwibuka inshingano zabo ndetse no kumenya amayeri abakobwa bigurisha (Indaya) bakoresha mu rwego rwo kurinda bataribwa.
Twifashishije igitabo cyitwa “Nana, Prostituée, putain, Héritaire: Rencontre d’un intime Relationnel peu Banal” cyanditswe na Jaramillo Isabelle. Uyu mwanditsi akaba yarakoze ubushakashatsi ku buzima, imibereho, imikorere y’indaya mu gihe cy’imyaka icumi. Nasomyemo amabanga indaya zifashisha nsanga hari icyo yafasha abagore b’abanyarwandakazi mu buzima bwabo bwa buri munsi.

Dore amabanga zigira kandi yavamo amasomo kuri benshi:

1.Kumenya imiterere y’abagabo

Iri ni ibanga rya mbere indaya zikoresha mu gukurura no kureshya abagabo. Umugabo aho ava akagera,ikegero cyose yaba arimo akunda igitsina gore. Keretse iyo afite ubundi burwayi.

Nubwo ubana n’umugabo wawe, ushobora kuba utarafashe umwanya ngo umwige imiterere ye. Iyo umaze kumenya uko ateye,imitekerereze,imikorere y’umubiri we, umenya n’uko umwifataho. Abagabo bakunda kugira ubushake bwo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina kenshi ugereranyije n’abagore. Kumutera umugongo buri joro cyangwa kenshi gashoboka uba ukora amakosa ahambaye.

Kumusanganiza ibibazo agikandagiza ikirenge mu rugo uba uhamwangisha ,Kugira agakungu n’abagore bagushuka ni ikosa ukora n’izindi ngeso abagabo banga nkuko twazibagegejeho mu nkuru zatambutse.

2.Kumenya imyenda yabugenewe

Mu bushakashatsi Isabelle yakoze, imwe mu ndaya ibimazemo imyaka 10 yamuhishuriye iri banga. Iyo burya bari murugo baba batandukanye cyane n’uko ubabona ku muhanda. Imyambarire yo mu rugo iba idashamaje ariko iyo bagiye mukazi usanga biyitaho kuburyo buhagije cyane.

Umugore ufite umugabo nawe byamufasha. Niba ugiye kukazi kawe ka buri munsi ambara imyenda igendanye n’akazi kawe. Nugera mu rugo uhindure imyamabaro wambare kuburyo ureshya umugabo wawe ntategeko ribiguhanira.

Abagore benshi bambara nk’indaya batabizi. Ugasanga mu gihe agiye mukazi nibwo aroshyemo imyenda ireshya ndetse ikurura abagabo rimwe na rimwe impenure. Yagera mu rugo ya myenda akayishyira kuruhande. Nyamara cyari igihe cyo kureshya no gukurura umugabo we aho kwirirwa avana hasi abagabo/abasore b’abandi.

Kwiyitaho rero igihe ugiye kujya ahandi hantu hatari mu rugo ariko wagera murugo ntumenye ko ugomba no kureshya umugabo wawe ni ikosa. Yego mwarashakanye ariko aracyakeneye kubona ubwiza bwa kera bwamuteye kuguhitamo mu bandi. Irinde inarashyikiriye/narugezemo. Kuba mubana,niwo mwanya mwiza wabonye wo kwiyitaho no kumwereka ko yashatse kandi yahisemo neza.

3.Isuku

Indaya zaganiriye na Isabelle mu bushakashatsi bwe zamubwiye irindi banga zikoresha:Isuku. Indaya zigira isuku yo mu rwego rwo hejuru. Zikunda kwita cyane ku isuku yo kumubiri. Kwitera ibirungo(Maquillage) ituma asa na bike, kuko baziko abagabo babikunda. Bakunda umugore ugaragara neza,usa neza. Ahandi bibanda ni ku isuku yo mu nzu. Eva umwe mu ndaya wahaye ubuhamya uyu mwanditsi yamutangarije ko udashobora gusanga na rimwe icyumba cye kirimo akajagari,harimo umwanda cyangwa hadateye umubavu uhumura neza. Mugore mwiza ,ite ku isuku y’icyumba cyawe umugabo wawe arusheho kuhishimira buri munsi.

4.Gusasa neza

N’abagore bake bita ku busaswa. Gusasa neza kandi kuburyo buhinduka nabyo bituma umugabo yumva anyuzwe. Uzasasa amashuka amwe ku buryo bumwe ,umwaka ushire undi utahe ,wumva ko biguhesha amanota? Iteka umugabo iyo asanze ibintu byahindutse biramushimisha bikongera n’urukundo mufitanye. Gusasa neza bijyana no gushyira imitako inyuranye mu nzu, mu cyumba. Byaba byiza ushatse itapi yo gushyira mu cyumba . Iri naryo ni ibanga indaya zikoresha. Mugihe cyo gutera akabariro,niba mufite itapi nziza ,mwayifashisha aho guhora mwihera akabyizi ku gitanda gusa. Ibintu bigahora ari bishyashya.

5.Irushanwa

Umugabo mwarashakanye ariko baca umugani ngo umugabo ni umwana w’undi. N’ubwo mwashakanye uracyari mu irushanwa n’abandi bagore batagira abagabo cyangwa babafite, abakobwa bashinyitse amenyo hanze aha bose bashaka kwegukana umugabo wawe. Ikizabigufasha ni ukumufata neza kuburyo badashobora kugeza kurugero ubikora.

Amahirwe ufite mugirana igihe kinini. Aho yirirwa ntimuba muri kumwe,ibigeragezo anyuramo ntubizi ntushinzwe no kubimenya. Ikikureba ni ugukomeza irushanwa. N’ubwo uri umugore mwiza wifuzwa na benshi ,ibikorwa ukorera umugabo nibyo bituma amenya agaciro n’ubwo bwiza bwawe. Indaya iteka iyo zihuye n’umugabo zikoresha uburyo bwose bushoboka ntihazigere undi mugore atekereza. Zikoresha ibikorwa . Kora ibishoboka umugabo wawe abe ari wowe uhora mu bitekerezo bye.

6. Gutera akabariro

Ibanga rya mbere ni ukubanza kumukuramoramo igihunga , umunaniro, ibitekerezo n’ibibazo bimuremereye. Eva umwe mu ndaya zimaze igihe kinini muri uyu mwuga kandi akaba awukora ku buryo bw’umwuga, yasobanuriye uyu mushakashatsi ko bigora gushimisha umugabo mu gitanda ufite ibindi bimuhangayikishije mu mutwe we. Kugira ngo abashe gushimisha umugabo, yamusobanuriye ko agomba gutuma atuza ndetse akabanza akibagirwa ibyo yaje atekereza. Ibi ngo bikorwa amuganiriza neza, amukorakora , amubwira magambo meza kuburyo bimufasha kwibagirwa ibyari bimuhangayikishije.

Umugore wubatse nawe iri banga yarikoresha. Niba umugabo ageze mu rugo wimusanganiza ibibazo ahubwo reka abanze atuze, umubaze uko yiriwe kukazi, uko amerewe, umwihanganishe ibitagenze neza.

Gutegurana kwabashakanye ntibitangirira mu buriri. Burya ngo umugore aba agomba kumva umugabo , kumugira inama aho abona biri ngombwa, n’ibindi bimufasha kumva Atari wenyine kandi akarushaho kumwibonamo.

Nyuma yo kumenya uko utwara umugabo bitewe n’uko aje, hakurikiraho kumwambura imyenda, inkweto, amasogisi. Iri banga indaya zirarisobanukiwe cyane. Abagore kubera ubunebwe no kumva ko bageze mu rugo ntawarubakuramo ,ibi ntibiba bibareba. Ushobora kutaruvamo ariko umugabo wawe agatwarwa n’abandi bagore kandi ibyo usabwa atari ibintu bigoye na gato. Umugore agomba kwigana iri banga bityo akongera urukundo umugabo we amukunda. Bimufasha kandi kumva agushatse kurushaho kuburyo byatuma muhita mukurikizaho igikorwa nyamukuru cyo gutera akabariro. Mu miterere y’abagabo bakunda guhutiraho bashaka guhita birangiriza gahunda yabazanye. Indaya kugira ngo itume wamugabo azahore aza kuyishaka, irabanza ikamuturisha, ikamutegura igihe kinini bityo ya huti huti ikabanza igashira.

Umugore rero niwe ubyungukiramo. Kuko nawe iyo habayeho umwanya munini wo gutegurana, arushaho kugira ubushake no kwibona mu gikorwa. Wituma umugabo aza ngo ahite ahutiraho mutegure, umukorakore, umubwire amagambo meza . Kumukorera ka massage biba ngo ari injyana muntu ,abagabo barabikunda cyane. Niba ufite akanya banza ushyushye amazi uze kumukandisha umumare amavunane. Ni biba ari ibishoboka mwajyana mu bwogero. Muvayo umunaniro washize ndetse n’ubushake agufitiye bwiyongereye ndetse bikaba byamufasha kwitwara neza mu kibuga.Mu gihe kandi muri mugikorwa cyo gutera akabariro , ni byiza gushyiramo umuziki utuje utuma igikorwa kigenda neza kurushaho.

Gutera akabariro amatara azimije, mu kizima hari abagore babikunda. Indaya zo siko zibigenza. Abagabo 90% bakunda ko iki gikorwa kibera ahantu hari urumuri. Umugore ufite umugabo n’ubundi ntacyo aba amuhisha agomba kureka bigakorerwa ku rumuri.

Irindi banga ni ukugerageza gukora uburyo(position) bunogeye umugabo ariko nawe butakubangamiye. Niba rero umutware wawe agusaba ko wamuhindurira ukagira ubunebwe ,ukabona bitamunyuze , hindura ukoreshe uko ushoboye nawe ushyireho akawe .

Ikindi abagore badakunda kwitaho ni ukugaragaza amarangamutima mugihe cy’’igikorwa. Niba muri gutera akabariro ku rugo rwanyu koresha ijwi ryawe umwereke ko uri kunezerwa. Bituma umugabo anyurwa kurushaho ahubwo akongeza n’umuvuduko kuko aba abona ko mwese mwanyuzwe.

Aya ni amwe mu mabanga abakobwa/abagore bicuruza batangarije Isabelle mu bushakshatsi bwe yabakoreyeho. Bagore beza rero ni ahanyu ho kugira ibyo mwiga hanyuma mukamenya gufata neza abagabo. Umugabo uzakorera ibi byose akakunanira ,akarenga akuguca inyuma azaba adashobotse. Izaba ari ingeso yifitiye .

Author : Martin Munezero

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