Amakosa akomeye abakobwa bakora agatuma bagumirwa harimo nko Kwibwira ko hari ibyangombwa byo gukundwa utujuje , Kumva ko ushaka umusore ufite uburanga bw’akataraboneka ,Kwishimira abandi basore kurusha uwo muri kumwe mu rukundo ndetse n’ibindi .

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Urukundo rugamije kuzabana nk’umugore n’umugabo mu rugo ni ikintu gikomeye kandi rukaba n’umushinga ushobora guhomba iyo utizwe neza, ikaba ari yo mpamvu iyo umusore cyangwa se umukobwa agiye guhitamo uwo bazarushingana ashyiramo ubushishozi budasanzwe.

Muri ubu bushishozi rero ngo ni ho abakobwa bamwe na bamwe baburira amanota ugasanga batandukanye n’abasore bakundanye igihe.

Iri bengwa rero ahanini ngo riterwa n’amakosa 5 nyamukuru akorwa n’abakobwa mu gihe cyo gukundana no kurambagizanya, aho ushobora guhora wibaza impamvu umukobwa ashobora kuba afite uburanga, ikinyabupfura, imyitwarire myiza ndetse n’ibindi bitandukanye ariko yakundana n’umusore ntibamarane kabiri cyangwa se ntihagire umubwira ngo bakomezanye mu rukundo abe yamugira umufasha (amushyire mu mago). Ibi rero ngo nta kindi kibitera, bituruka kuri amwe mu makosa akorwa muri urwo rugendo rw’urukundo bikaba byanaviramo umukobwa kugumirwa.

Urubuga rwa internet: ivillage.com rugaragaza ko ayo makosa ni aya akurikira:

1. Kwibwira ko hari ibyangombwa byo gukundwa utujuje

Ibi ngo bituma abakobwa benshi biyiziho inenge runaka batiyakira, hagira n’umusore ugukundira ikintu runaka yakubonyeho kikamushimisha atitaye kuri iyo nenge y’inyuma wiyiziho ukumva ko ngo akubeshya, ugahora ushidikanya. Ibi ngo bikaba ari kimwe mu bituma abasore barambirwa bakigira kwishakira abanyurwa no guhabwa urukundo. Ibi kandi ngo nta kindi kibibatera, ni uko ngo umusore aba yumva ko nakugira n’umugore uzaba umwe utemera cyangwa se utanyurwa.

2. Kumva ko ushaka umusore ufite uburanga bw’akataraboneka

Abakobwa usanga bifuza gukundwa n’abasore beza ngo kuko nibabereka bagenzi babo bari bubyishimire cyangwa se bakubahwa mu muryango kurusha kwita ku musore ufite urukundo n’ibitekerezo kandi ngo usanga bene aba basore kuko baba bakundwa n’abakobwa benshi bahora bashaka kwigumira mu busore bakaryoherwa na bwo hanyuma abo bakundanye bagahera mu gihirahiro, ndetse rimwe na rimwe hakabaho igihe banatwarwa n’abandi bakobwa bakurusha amarere mu rukundo. Hanyuma umukobwa ugasanga akomeje guhagarara kuri icyo kintu ngo afite umusore w’igitangaza, haza n’abandi bifitemo ibitekerezo akabanga bikarangira imyaka ibaye myinshi n’uwo wari urindiriye ukamubura.

3. Kumva ko umusore mukundana mugomba guhorana igihe cyose

Usanga abakobwa bashaka ko abasore b’inshuti zabo babafata nk’imfungwa ntibabahe umwanya wo kugenda no gukora gahunda zabo bonyine. Ibi rero ngo bibangamira abasore batari bake kuko ngo iyo witwara gutya akubonamo nk’utagira icyo yitaho cyazateza imbere urugo rwanyu kuko aba yibaza niba mubanye wazajya umuha akanya ko gutekereza, kuganira n’abandi no kwishimira ibyo akunda kuko ngo iyo ubikoze gutya yumva ko ushaka kumugira imfungwa. Rero ngo bene iyi myitwarire ishobora gutuma umusore agucikaho utakubwiye n’impamvu akajya kwishakira uzamureka agahumeka kandi akamufata nk’umutu ufite uburenganzira bwo kwisanzura no kubaho ubuzima yishimiye.

4. Kwishimira abandi basore kurusha uwo muri kumwe mu rukundo

Iki ngo ni ikintu usanga abakobwa benshi badaha agaciro ariko rwose ngo gishobora kuba intandaro yo kubengwa n’abasore batari bake bikazatuma ugumirwa kuko ngo mu gihe ubona abasore bose ukumva nta kibazo kuko ari incuti z’incuti yawe, kuko muturanye, mwigana se ndetse n’ibindi hanyuma ukabikoraho ibyo ushaka byose (ukabisanzuraho birengeje urugero), menya ko bidashimisha abasore na mba kuko biba bibaha ishusho y’umugore uzaba we ko ushobora kuzamuca inyuma n’ibindi, kandi ibi bibabaza umusore rwose akaba yumva adashobora kukugira umugore kuko yazagusangira na benshi. Aha rero ngo bisaba kwitwararika bose ukababona nk’abasanzwe.

5. Kwihagararaho mu makosa

Aha ngo usanga hari abakobwa benshi baba bafite incuti zabo bakazereka ko gukora ikosa ari ibisanzwe, yaba yakoze ikintu umusore ntakishimire yabimubwira, ugasanga aho gusaba imbabazi mu magaguru mashya ahubwo yihagazeho akumva ko atari ikosa, bakiterera mu birere! Iki ngo ni ikintu gikomeye umuhungu w’incuti areberaho niba uzamucira bugufi mu rugo, na cyane ko abagabo baba bifuza abagore bifitemo guca bugufi no gusaba imbabazi. Rero nubona umusore agusezereye akisangira undi, ni uko iyo ndangagaciro yo guca bugufi ngo usabire ikosa imbabazi, wiyoroshye, aba yayikubuzeho.

Niba rero uri umukobwa wifuza kuzashyirwa mu rugo ukagira umuryango ariko ukaba hari amakosa amwe mu yavuzwe ujya ukora mu rukundo, ubwo utangire kwikosora no kugira icyo uhindura naho ubundi ngo bitabaye ibyo ushobora kwigumira iwanyu ukazahasazira.