Ni kenshi abantu bibaza niba bishoboka gukundana n’umukobwa ari bwo bwa mbere muhuye ndetse n’uko wabyitwaramo ngo umuterete.Twagutoranyirije uburyo 5 wakoresha.

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Gutangira gusaba ubucuti ni intambwe ikomeye cyane dore intambwe ugomba kubinyuzamo uko ari eshanu

1. Mbere ya byose, ugomba gufata umwanya wo kwitegereza uwo mukobwa ushakaho ubucuti cyangwa ukamuganiraho n’ umuntu waba amuzi neza. Ariko byose bigakorwa wirinda ko yabimenya (pre-interaction stage).

2. Nyuma yo kumwitegereza cyangwa kumuganiraho ukabona ari sawa, ushaka uburyo mwazaganira agahe gato (byibura iminota ine) ku buzima busanzwe, ukirinda kugaragaza cyangwa kuvuga ko umushakaho urukundo (initiation stage).

3. Nimumara kumenyana muri make, hazakurikiraho gusangira ibitekerezo no kurushaho kumenyana, mukava mu by’ ubuzima busanzwe ahubwo mukaganira ku buzima bwanyu bwite. Gusa ibyo biganiro ntibigomba kuba amaso ku yandi ahubwo ushobora kwifashisha telephone, e-mail, facebook, twitter, badoo, n’ ibindi (exploration stage).

4. Mukurikije ibiva mu biganiro, muzatangira kumva ko umwe agomba kubaho kubera undi (depending upon each other) ku buryo muzajya mwifuza kumarana igihe kirekire muganira cyangwa se murebana akana ko mu ijisho (intensification stage).

5. Nyuma bizarangira umwe yumva atabaho mugenzi we atariho. Aho ni ho bavuga ngo ”urukundo rubaye ibamba”. Icyo gihe muzatangira kumva ko Atari ngombwa kuganira ku rukundo gusa ahubwo mukaganira no ku buzima busanzwe (you talk about anything and everything). Iyi ntambwe ni yo ya nyuma.
Yitwa “intimacy stage”

Nyuma y’ ubu bushakatsi ndahamya ko wowe muhungu usobanukiwe neza uburyo watereta umukobwa bitabaye ngombwa ko hagira ikindi kibahuza. N’ ubwo twavuze abahungu ariko hari n’ abakobwa biteretera kandi bose inzira ni zimwe nizere ko nabo bumvishe. Gusa izo ntambwe (stages) zose zishyirwa mu bikorwa buhoro buhoro, nta guhubuka ngo wumve ko byose bigomba gukorwa umunsi umwe kuko urukundo rurubakwa (love is a process).