Gukundana ni kimwe ariko gufata umwanzuro wo kubana ukaba umwanzuro ukomeye kuruta, akenshi usanga abakobwa bajya mu rukundo bagategereza ijambo riva ku musore amubwira ko yifuza kumugira umugore agaheba ariko akirengagiza ko akwiye kubigiramo uruhare.

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Dore bimwe mu bintu umukobwa ashobora gukora bigatuma umusore bakundana afata umwanzuro wo kumugira umugore atazuyaje.

1. Gerageza kugaragara neza uko ushoboye kose

Abasore burya bakururwa cyane n’ibigaragara kandi aba yumva yaterwa ishema no kugira umukunzi ugaragara neza, umwe azahura nawe ari kumwe n’inshuti ze ntagire ipfunwe ryo kuziratira ko ariwe mwamikazi w’umutima we. Iyiteho kandi ugaragaze isuku nk’umwari ubikwiye koko aho unyura abone ko uhanyurana umucyo.

2. Hora iteka ufite impumuro nziza

Abasore burya n’ubwo atari ko bose bakunda kwitera imibavu ariko burya bakunda cyane umukobwa uhumura neza, umwe umusuhuza akamuhobera bamara gutandukana akumva aracyumva impumuro ye. Nk’inkumi ni byiza ko uzajya uzirikana kujya imbere ye cyangwa guhura nawe wikozeho rwose impumuro imeze neza, uzasanga iteka yifuza kuba kumwe nawe kandi nimunatandukana ntuzigera umuva mu bitekerezo.

3. Irinde kumuhoza ku nkeke no kumugaya buri gihe

Aha munyumve neza mwa nkumi mwe sinshaka kuvuga ko umukunzi wawe natakwitaho, nakora amafuti cyangwa ikindi kidahwitse utazamugaya, ahubwo icyo nshaka kuvuga hano ni uko uzabikorana ubwenge. Wowe uhera ku byiza bye ukajya umushima noneho ibyo atakoraga neza akabikora neza noneho agirango ashimwe aho kubikorera ko wamutonganyije. Urugero hano nabaha, egera umukunzi wawe niba wenda akunda inzoga cyane, umubwire uti : "Uti ariko rata uri umusore mwiza ! Nkunda uburyo ugira umurava n’ubwo akenshi uteshuka kubera inzoga" Nkubwije ukuri ko natanagira icyo abivugaho azaba aritaye mu gutwi kandi azumva ko akwiye kuba yazireka kugirango umushime.

4. Mukunde kandi ubyerekane

Muri iki gihe usanga abantu benshi bavuga ngo urukundo rw’ubu nta kigenda, ngo abakobwa b’ubu baratendeka n’ibindi nk’ibyo. Wowe rero mwereke itandukaniro ryawe n’abandi, wikwitwararika ngo wumve ko yazakureka ugaseba ahubwo mukunde, umuteteshe, umwereke ko ufite ishema rye mu bandi uzaba aribwo uharaniye ko atarota akureka. Nubikora neza azumva ko ntaho yagusiga ajya kandi yumve ko ntacyo yakuburanye yaba ajya gushaka.

5. Ikunde wowe ubwawe

Ntugakunde kubwira umukunzi wawe ibibi wibonaho, ngo umubaze ngo ariko ubu kuba narabyibushye cyane ntibikubangamira ?...Nsigaye nanga ukuntu ngana, nsigaye narabaye igikara... Nonese numara kumwereka ko wowe ubwawe utikunze kandi utifitiye icyizere niwe uzakikugirira ? Sigaho wiba umupfapfa, wowe wabyibuha, wananuka, uruhu rwawe rwahinduka, mwekere ko ukifitiye icyizere kandi wirinde kumwereka ibyo uzi nk’inenge kuri wowe kuko ushobora gutuma ahita ashishoza akanabaza abandi bamuvugira mu matwi ugasanga urisenyeye.

6. Irinde gutuma afuha kandi umurwanire ishyaka

Kuba waba udaca inyuma umukunzi wawe ntibihagije, ukwiye no gukora ibishoboka ngo atagukeka akaba yagufuhira. Niba agukunda, yumva ko uri umukobwa n’abandi basore bifuza nk’uko nawe byagenze bityo akumva ko isaha n’isaha bagutwara. Uko umusore agukunda cyane niko arushaho kumva afite impungenge kuko aba yumva ufite agaciro gahambaye buri wese ukureba akubonamo. Kora ibishoboka byose rero ugabanye urukururano n’abandi basore, ugabanye gutaha amajoro cyane no kugira gahunda zidasobanutse kandi utanazimubwiye, mbese ukore ibishoboka byose ye kujya ahagarika umutima ko hari abandi mufitanye umubano wihariye.

7. Kunda inshuti ze

Niba umusore mukundana afite abasore bagenzi be ubona ko ari inshuti magara, ibuka ko bafite ibyo bahuriyeho kandi bashobora kuba baranamugiriye inama igihe yafataga umwanzuro wo kugusaba urukundo. Wihita uhubuka ngo werekane ko inshuti ze ntaho uhuriye nazo ahubwo ereka umukunzi wawe ko wubaha kandi ukunda inshuti ze ubigiriye we, bizatuma arushaho kugira ishema kandi n’ikibazo mwagirana cyose za nshuti ze zakuvugira neza ku mukunzi wawe igihe cyose waba warazisanzuyeho ukazereka ko koko uri umukobwa w’umutima.

8. Mwereke ko uzi guteka kandi wifuza kuzajya umutekera

Iki ni ikintu abakobwa badaha agaciro cyane ariko mbabwije ukuri burya umusore wese aho ava akagera akunda umukobwa uzi guteka, akunda kuba yazagera aho atekerwa n’umugore, mbese ni ibintu bashyira imbere cyane. N’ubwo mwaba mutarabana rero, ntuzakore ikosa ryo kwakiriza umukunzi wawe ibiryo byatetswe n’umukozi. Nibiba ngombwa jya ureka abanze ahagere maze ushyashyane vuba umutekere ; ibyo bihita bituma mu mutwe we atangira kwitekerereza nk’igihe waba umutekera mubana... Aha n’abagore bumvireho, mbere yo kwibaza impamvu umugabo wawe yaryamana n’umukozi, banza wibaze impamvu buri gihe yajya yakirwa n’umukozi ku meza. Yego ntiwareka akazi, ariko kandi igihe utakoze ntuzigere uha umwanya umukozi ngo ateke, kandi no mu gihe cy’akazi nabwo jya wegera umugabo umubaze uti uyu munsi tugutekere iki mugabo mwiza ? Nubimubaza azumva ko n’ubwo byatekwa n’umukozi aba yabibwirijwe na nyirabuja.

9. Mukunde nk’ufite uwo murushanwa

Bajya bavuga ngo abagore n’abakobwa bagira inzaratsi. Ibyo nanjye ndabyemera ko zibaho ariko izo nemera si ibyo byatsi n’ibipyuye amaso bindi ntazi, inzaratsi ni ugukunda umukunzi wawe nk’ufite uwo murushanwa, ukamugenera impano, ukajya umukorera utuntu mbese wumva ko nta wundi wabasha kutumukorera ndetse ko n’uwabigerageza atageza ahawe, uba umwifatiye rwose aragenda agatwarwa umutima we ukawigarurira wose uko wakabaye.

10. Menya kumutetesha

Gutetesha burya bibaho mu buryo bwinshi. Ni byiza ko uzirikana ko gushima ibyiza biri ku mukunzi wawe ari ingenzi cyane, ahita yumva ko ahantu akunzwe, ashimwa ntacyo yahanganya. Mwereke ko umuha agaciro kandi ko ari ingenzi cyane kuri wowe, umwereke ko akurutira byose kandi umurutisha bose, umwite utuzina tuzatuma koko yiyumva nk’udasanzwe kuri wowe.