Ni kenshi wumva abagore bavuga ko batanezerewe mu umubano wabo cyangwa mu ngo n’ abo bashakanye. Uku kutishima babishinja abandi nyamara ntibatekereze ko baba ari bo ba nyirabayazana b’uwo munezero mucye n’abagabo babo.

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Nkuko tubikesha urubuga Elcrema, dore amakosa 10 akwiye kwirindwa, akorwa n’abagore mu mibanire n’abo bashakanye:

1. Gufata imibonano mpuzabitsina nk’ingurane

Abagore benshi bakoresha imibonano mpuzabitsina nk’igicuruzwa maze bagakangisha abagabo babo kudakorana na bo imibonano paka bagize icyo babaha. Ni ikosa rikomeye kwanga gutera akabariro n’uwo mwashakanye kuko ushaka amafaranga yo kugura ikanzu nshya, imodoka cyangwa ikindi ukeneye. Si byiza kumva ko umugabo yagushakiye imibonano mpuzabitsina gusa ngo ubyitwaze hari icyo ushaka kindi.

2. Kutiyitaho

Abagore benshi bagwa muri iri kosa nyuma yo gushaka. Mbere y’uko ubana n’umugabo wawe, uko ugaragara byari bifite agaciro cyane kuri wowe nyamara nyuma yo ‘kumufatisha’, waretse kwiyitaho nka mbere. Kuba waramubonye akaba ari uwawe byemewe n’amategeko si impamvu yo kureka kuba mwiza no kwita ku buranga bwawe. Umugabo wawe aba yitezeho gukomeza kubona umugore mwiza yashatse amuhisemo mu bandi. Jya ugerageza rero guhora ufite ubwiza nk’ubwo yagukundiye.

3. Amahane

Nta mugabo ukunda umugore w’umunyamahane, nubwo yakwihanganira, menya ko bitazaguma gutyo. Si byiza kumva ko ibibazo byakemuka iteka ari uko uteye induru. Ntiwakwitega amahoro mu rugo igihe winubira buri kintu avuze cyangwa akoze kandi ukabigaragaza usakuza. Hari ubundi buryo bwo gukemura ibibazo n’ubwumvikane buke byo mu rugo udateye amahane. Ntukwiye gutuka cyangwa usakurize umugabo wawe; uwo ni umugabo wawe, si umuhugu wabyaye.

4. Kutizera umugabo wawe

Iri ni irindi kosa rikomeye abagore bakora mu mibanire n’abo bashakanye. Birumvikana ntiwifuza gusangira umugabo wawe n’undi muntu uwo ari we wese, nkuko umugabo nawe atabyifuza kugusangira, ariko se niba utamwizera, kuki wemeye ko mubana? Si byiza ko ukimbirana n’abandi bagore ngo kuko ubakekana n’umugabo wawe. Undi mugore si we kibazo; ikibazo ni umugabo wawe. Aho kurwana n’abandi bagore, gerageza kumenya impamvu ukiri kumwe n’umugabo wawe nyamara akaba yiruka kuri uwo mugore wundi. Ni ukwitesha agaciro iyo urwaniye n’undi mugore mu ruhame murwanira umugabo.

5. Gufata abavandimwe b’umugabo wawe nk’abanyamahanga

Ntuzigere witega ko umugabo wawe azacika ku muryango we kuko yakurongoye. Ibi ni ikosa gutekereza utyo kandi ntekereza ko niba ukunda umugabo wawe by’ukuri, wagakunze ibye byose by’umwihariko abagize umuryango we. Iga gukunda abagize umuryango we kandi ntukabafate nk’abasabirizi. Bavuga ko bigorana kubana na nyokobukwe ngo kuko aba yumva usa n’aho uri gufata umwanya we mu buzima bw’umuhungu we nyamara kumusuzugura si wo muti w’ikibazo.

6. Kuganira ni iby’ingenzi iyo hari ibyo mutumvikanaho

Nta zibana zidakomanya amahembe. Umunsi umwe hari ubwo utazumvikana n’uwo mwashakanye ku ngingo runaka, nyamara guca igikuba uca ibiti n’amabuye cyangwa ukabwira umuhisi n’umugenzi ibyo utumvikanaho n’umugabo nta cyo bizakemura uretse gusubiza ibintu irudubi. Iga uko wabwira umugabo wawe icyo utekereza mu buryo bwiza, mu mahoro kandi umwubashye. Kubahana biba bikenewe cyane kugira ngo umubano w’abashakanye urambe.

7. Kutihangana

Hari irindi kosa abagore bakora mu mibanire yabo n’abo bashakanye. Kwihangana biba bikenewe cyane kugira ngo umubano wanyu urambe. Ugomba kwiga kwihanganira uwo mubana. Niba udashobora kumwihanganira, icyiza ni uko wareka gufata icyemezo cyo kubana na we.

8. Kwirengagiza igifu (inda?) cye

Birumvikana ushobora kuba ufite akazi, uhugiye mu zindi gahunda kandi rwose gufatanya imirimo mito n’akazi kawe ntacyo byakwica, gusa hano hasaba ubwenge n’ubushishozi cyane. Ushobora kuba ufite umukozi ubufasha gutegura amafunguro mu rugo rwanyu gusa ukwiye kumenya ko kugira ngo wigarurire umutima w’umugabo bihera mu gushimisha igifu cye [Kugira ngo ugere ku mutima w’umugabo, ugomba guca mu nda ye]. Ugomba kugenzura no kumenya niba umugabo wawe abona amafunguro akwiye kandi ahagije, ntubiharire umukozi gusa. Nubona akanya, ujye utekera umugabo wawe amafunguro uzi akunda.

9. Kugira inshuti mbi

Iri ni irindi kosa abagore bagwamo kandi risenya ingo nyinshi. Ni ngombwa ko uhitamo inshuti neza kuko si buri wese wagira icyo akumarira. Ntukwiye kubwira uwo ari we wese akakuri ku mutima cyangwa amabanga yawe. Ni bibi cyane kubwira inshuti zawe ibibi cyangwa intege nke z’umugabo wawe. Ni byo, rimwe na rimwe uba ukeneye umuntu muganira ariko ni ngombwa ko umenya niba ari we muntu ukwiye kandi ukagenzura ibyo umubwira. Ni byiza kwirinda kugira inshuti z’abasore, no kugirana ibiganiro byihariye kandi kenshi, kuko umugabo wawe atabifata neza.

10. Amabanga

Kugira ibyo uhisha cyangwa ukinga umugabo wawe ni bibi cyane kuko bituma agutakariza icyizere byihuse. Wiryamira telefone cyangwa ngo uyihozeho ijisho utinya ko umugabo wawe yarebamo, wimuhisha cyangwa ngo umubeshye gahunda ugiyemo. Wowe n’umugabo wawe mugomba kuba muri nk’ikipe itahiriza umugozi umwe, kandi ibi ntimwabigeraho hari amabanga muhishanya.