Gutandukana n’uwo mukundana n’uburibwe bizana ni ikintu gishobora gushengura umutima ukanegekara. Ku bw’amahirwe make, nta buryo bworoshye bwo guhangana n’agahinda ugira iyo bikubayeho kuko nta muhanga wari yandika agatabo kaguha inama zifatika zigusobanurira uko wakwikuramo umuntu wakundaga nyuma mukaza gutandukana.

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Mu gihe bamwe bibafata igihe gito guhita bakomeza ubuzima bakikuramo umubano w’urukundo warangiye bahozemo, hari abo bifata igihe cy’amezi cyangwa kinarenga, basa n’abari mu kiriyo cy’urukundo batakaje. Ku kigero cyose cy’agahinda waba ufite, ni ingenzi cyane kwibuka ko ubuzima butarangirira aho.

Ntukwiye kureka gukunda dore ko Abameramana gukunda ari ryo tegeko riruta ayandi twahawe n’Imana yacu .

Ubu rero, twifashishije inkuru yasohotse ku rubuga lifehack, turakugezaho ingingo 10 zisa n’utunama twagufasha kwikuramo uwo wakundaga mwatandukanye utabyifuza cyangwa waramukunze we atagukunda.

1. Ibuka ko izuba rirenga rikongera rikarasa

Uzakenera ubwawe kwigenera igihe cyo kubabara koko, kandi nta mpamvu yo kwishyiraho igitutu cyo kuba hari igihe utarenza ukiri mu gahinda. Menya ko igihe ubwacyo ari cyo kimara agahinda hafi ya kose umuntu yagira.

Igihe bifata ngo ube wikuyemo umuntu ukunda, giterwa n’uburyo urukundo rwanyu rwari rumeze, n’ikigero wamukundagaho. Abantu bamwe bibafata igihe gito ngo barenge akababaro baterwa no gutandukana n’abo bakundanye, mu gihe abandi bakenera igihe kirekire kurushaho bitewe n’uburyo basanzwe bakunda, ikigero bimariramo uwo bakunze ndetse n’uburyo babasha kwihanganira ibidashimishije bibagwiririye.

Ababiri (couples) bamaze igihe kirekire bakundana bashobora gukenera igihe kirekire cyo gukira no gukomeza ubuzima bwabo iyo urukundo rwabo rurangiye. Gusa uko icyo gihe cyaba kirekire kose, wowe ukwiye gufata igihe cyo gukira ndetse ukiga uko wakomeza inzira yawe utari kumwe na runaka cyangwa nyirarunaka.

Niba ushaka kumenya uko wakira igikomere uzaterwa no kurangira k’umubano w’urukundo warimo (breakup), jya ubiha igihe.

2. Iyemerere kumva amarangamutima yawe

Urukundo rubamo inyanja y’amarangamutima ushobora kogamo ku buryo kuyiheza ngo uyambuke biba ihurizo rikomeye cyane. Na ko ntiwanayiheza.

Aya marangamutima aguhuza n’umukunzi wawe boshye abanywanye, ndetse iyo umubano wanyu urangiye, bisa n’aho noneho uba ugiye kwibasirwa n’umwuzure w’amarangamutima mabi (negative emotions).

Ni ingenzi cyane kuri wowe gufata aya marangamutima ukayakira ntakuganze.
Uburibwe bwo mu marangamutima ugira nyuma yo gutandukana n’uwo wakundaga azwiho kuba asa n’ibimenyetso by’agahinda gakabije (depression), bituma uba ugomba gufatirana ukiyitaho.

Ukenera kwakira aya marangamutima mabi ukabana na yo niba ushaka kumenya uko wakira igikomere cy’urukundo rutakomeje [It’s okay]. Wikwibuza kumva bene ayo marangamutima kuko ubwacyo ari igice cy’urugendo rwo gukira. Bizakwemerera kuva mu mubano wari urimo.

Hazabaho ibihe uzumva ko ibi bikomere nta ho bizajya. Icyakora, ni ingenzi kwibuka ko nta gahora gahanze, nta cyagize itangiriro kitagize iherezo. Nk’ibindi byiyumvo byose, aya marangamutima aguteza uburibwe azahita agende.

3. Siba (umu-Ex) wawe ku mbuga nkoranyambaga no muri telephone yawe

Bishoboka ko iyi ari yo nama nyayo kandi ikora wakurikiza niba ushaka kwiga uko wakwivana mu kababaro k’urukundo rwarangiye. Imbuga nkoranyambaga zidufasha kuguma twegeranye n’ubuzima bw’abacu batwegereye ndetse n’abo dukunda, ariko si ahantu ho kubona bihoraho ibikwibutsa umu-ex wawe.

Hari impamvu nziza iyo ari yo nama iboneye gusiba inomero ye muri telefoni yawe. Mu gihe uribwa n’agahinda, ushobora gufata umwanzuro wo gusubira mu rukundo rwarangiye cyangwa ugafata telefoni ukavuga ikintu ushobore kuzicuza hanyuma,
Kuko wageze ku cyiciro aho ugira agahinda kava ku wundi muntu, kumenya ibyerekeye ubuzima bwe nta kindi byakumarira uretse kongera umunyu mu gisebe cyatewe n’ako gahinda.

4. Ibuka kwikunda

Nyuma yo gutana, ubwonko bwawe bushaka kukugabaho igitero cy’ibitekerezo rimwe na rimwe byo kwishinja amakosa ku kuba urukundo rwanyu rutarakunze.
Kumva ko utari mwiza bihagije si ikintu cyiza ku kwiyubaha kwawe. Uko wibona si ikntu na rimwe gikwiye guhuzwa n’urukundo wahozemo rugapfa.

Aha rero, mara igihe runaka wikunda. Iki cyaba igihe cyiza cyo kwigaburira no kwifureba ibintu n’ibihe bikongera akanyamuneza.

Na none kandi, ushobora gukora urutonde rw’ibintu bishimishije kandi byiza kuri wowe. Ibi bintu byose bizakwemerera kwikunda bundi bushya.
Kurema kandi ugasigasira ishusho nziza (positive self-image) ni igice cy’ingenzi cyo kwikunda.

5. Andika uko wiyumva

Ikaramu yawe n’urupapuro bigira ubushobozi bukomeye cyane. Gira agakayi gato wandikamo uko wiyumva muri iki cyiciro cy’ubuzima hanyuma usome ibyo wanditse mu ijwi riranguruye.

Ibi bizagufasha kunguka umucyo utamuye kurushaho ku buryo ubona ibintu ndetse ibiba ubibona nk’ubireba atabirimo. Tekereza uburyo witeguye gutera intambwe iganisha ubuzima bwawe imbere.

Hanyuma ushyire izo mpapuro mu isanduku cyangwa ikarito uzibike kure, cyangwa se nushaka uzite.

Ushobora yewe gukora urutonde rw’ibintu byagumye bikubangamira mu gihe wari mu rukundo. Gumana uru rutonde nk’urwibutso rw’ibyo wungutse nyuma yo gutandukana n’umukunzi wawe.

6. Hindura imbaraga zawe mo ikintu cyiza

Ni ikintu gishingiye kuri kamere kwiyumva uri hasi ukumva ushiramo intege cyane nyuma yo gutana n’uwo mwakundanaga. Bamwe bashobora gufata umwanzuro wo kwirira ibisuguti na za shokola bumva bishinja ubwabo amakosa biyicariye imbere ya televiziyo.

Ahubwo, wowe icyo ukwiye gukora, koresha iki gihe uzamura imyuka (spirits) myiza yawe ngo wigarurire ubutengamare wahoranye mbere yo gutandukana n’umukunzi wawe. Ukeneye kandi ukwiriye rwose gukomeza n’ubuzima, kandi uburyo bwiza ushobora gutangirana ni ugukora imyitozo ngororamubiri (siporo).

7. Ikongezemo ikibatsi gishya cyo kureba uruhande rwiza rw’ubuzima uhura n’abantu

Koresha imbaraga zawe mu buryo bwiza kurushaho uhitamo gusabana ndetse uniyibutsa ubwiza bwawe n’ibyiza wihariye. Ushobora guhitamo guhura n’inshuti zawe cyangwa abagize umuryango wawe ngo wivane mu rwobo rwuje icuraburindi urimo hanyuma bikagufasha kurebera ubuzima mu mfuruka nziza.

Ibuka ko ubuzima bwawe butarangirira ku mubano w’urukundo rwarangiye. Byagufasha rwose kureka guhobera ibyahise byagusize no kwiyibutsa indi mibano ishamaze wagize cyangwa wagira mu buzima bwawe.

8. Wigumana umujinya no gushinjanya ibyaha

Kugumana uburakari ndetse ukomeza guheza inguni ushinjanya ibyaha ku byabaye bishobora kukugiraho ingaruka zikwangiza ndetse zikagaruka abo mubana bya hafi. Niba ushaka uko wakira ibikomere biterwa n’urukundo rutakunze, rwose rekura ubwo burakari bwawe kandi uve mu mukino w’ishinjanyabyaha (blame game).

Iyo usanze udashobora kurekura ibyiyumvo byawe bibi, ugomba gutekereza ku buryo wareka uko wabyirukana mu mpande zose z’ubuzima bwawe. Iki gishobora kuba ari cyo kintu cya nyuma ukeneye gukora, byaba ubu cyangwa nyuma.
Iyibutse ko ibi nubikora, uzaba ubyikorera utabikorera undi.

9. Ibuka ko hari undi muntu ugukunda witeguye kuruguhata

Ubuzima bwuzuye ibihe bitandukanye kandi urugendo rwacu turuhuriramo n’abagenzi barwo batabarika. Biratangaje cyane gutekereza ko wakunda rimwe risa ridasaga mu buzima bwawe.

Bityo rero, niba wifuza kumenya uko warenga umubano w’urukundo utashobotse, ibuka ko atari ifi imwe iba mu cyuzi ndetse habamo amoko yayo menshi cyane.
Ni ikibazo gusa cyo kurebera ibintu mu ruhande rwiza no kugira ukwizera n’aho kwaba guto kurusha akabuto ka sinapi. Kuba urukundo rwanyu rwaranze bikwiye kukwereka umu-ex wawe nk’aho atari yo mahitamo yawe meza kurusha andi.

Urukundo rwanze cyangwa rutashobotse rukwigisha ibintu byinshi ugomba guhora wibuka niwongera gukunda na none. Fata ibyakubayeho nk’ubunararibonye, ubukoreshe nk’uburyo bwo gukomeza imbere unashaka urukundo rw’ukuri.

10. Iyo ugeze ku gasongero k’umusozi iteka ubona urumuri

Ushobora kumva usa n’aho uri mu icuraburindi mu gihe runaka. Ni ibyiyumvo bisa n’ibigutera kumva utazongera kubona urukundo rw’ukuri.

Ushobora kwiyumva nk’aho nta gisigaye mu isi. Icyakora, ubuzima burakomeza. Nugera ku mpera y’umusozi, byanga bikunda uzabona urumuri. Wikurayo amaso rero.

Nta kabuza uzongera ukunde kandi ubone wa muntu uzasendereza ubuzima bwawe ibyishimo. Ni ikibazo gusa cyo kugira icyizere gisesuye.