9 Biggest mistakes people make in their relationship

eng   Yanditswe na: Nsanzimana Ernest 3 July 2018 Yasuwe: 340

The beginning of relationships is so exciting and unpredictable that we sometimes forget our filter or act in certain ways because the honeymoon phase is amazing. Personally, I’ve become so caught up in the honeymoon phase that I forgot I was supposed to be getting to know another human being.

It’s so easy to get caught up in the fun and excitement because we don’t want it to end. Frankly, the fun doesn’t have to end. But we do need to take a step back and remember that we do not know this other person and while the beginning of a relationship may be fun and exciting, there are so many parts to this person we simply don’t know.

This is why it is important to know which common relationship mistakes we make and become aware of them so we are not blinded by the infatuation of another. Let’s take a look!

1. Falling too fast

Try to remember that you can’t fall too fast for someone you hardly know. We become engulfed in our infatuation or obsession with the other person that we totally forget to get to know them!

2. Revealing emotions too soon

This is never a good thing. We don’t want to come on too strong because the other person may not be at that point yet. Talk about your emotions with a friend or someone you’re close to for the time being until you’re both on the same page.

3. Getting physical too fast

Of course, being comfortable with each other has a lot to do with the timing of getting more physical and intimate, but you may not want to get physical as early as the second, third or fourth date. Give intimacy time and do not rush it.

4. Ignoring red flags

Is the other person texting or calling too often? Are they trying to be in contact with you for much of the day? Do you make excuses for any actions or behaviors you find even slightly strange? Do not ignore these red flags.

5. Getting too clingy

The last thing anyone wants to be is a stage-5 clinger. Texting too much or checking their social media accounts multiple times throughout the day are a few ways you can tell if you are becoming too clingy.

6. Talking about exes

No one wants to hear about your ex, and I’m sure you don’t want to hear about their ex. At least, not at the beginning of the relationship and especially if the discussion of exes comes up more often than you’d like.

7. Generalizing your partner

Do not generalize the other person by making stereotypical statements or insinuating that they are a certain type of person. This makes it seem like you’re underestimating them or that you already have a preconceived notion about them.

8. Social media stalking

It’s only been one date and you’ve been on their Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, Pinterest, Flipboard, and Tumblr? How did you even have the time to find all of their social media accounts? Take it down a notch… or two.

9. Broadcasting every moment on every media outlet known to exist

No one wants their dirty laundry aired for the world to see. I’ve done this and seen it done to so many people, and I wonder why we keep repeating the same mistakes when the outcome is usually the beginning of the end of the relationship.

Those are the top 9 mistakes that I have experienced both personally and professionally. We have to stop engaging in these nonsense behaviors if we want to have healthy and lasting relationships.

I also know that I am not the only one who makes these common mistakes in the beginning of relationships. It’s important to take a few moments to breathe so that you’re not overlooking anything that may potentially be a deal breaker for you. Had I not been caught up in the honeymoon phase of a previous relationship, I may have been able to save myself the verbal and physical abuse I encountered.

Try to be more self-aware when it comes to relationships, especially at the beginning. I would hate for anyone to get hurt mentally, emotionally or physically just because the honeymoon phase blinded them.

Author : Nsanzimana Ernest

Nsanzimana Ernest ni Umwanditsi mukuru w’Ikinyamakuru Umuryango. Yatangiye gukorera iki kinyamakuru muri Nzeli 2016, afite Impamyabumenyi y’Icyiciro cya Kabiri cya Kaminuza (A0) mu Itangazamakuru n’Itumanaho yakuye muri Kaminuza y’u Rwanda Ishuri ry’ itangazamakuru n’ itumanaho


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