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Kigali

Menya zimwe mu mpamvu zishobora gutuma abashakanye batandukana

Amakuru   Yanditswe na: ISHIMWE JANE 29 April 2022

Bikunze kubaho ko abashakanye batandukana ariko ariko akenshi usanga babigiramo uruhare cyane mbere yo gushaka mu gihe wafashe umwanzuro uhubtse cyangwa uwo mugiye kubana utamukunda byukuri bishobora gutuma musenya kuko mu rugo hazaboneka byinshi bisaba kwihangana ndetse no kunyurwa nuwo murikumwe, mu gihe wahubutse mu mahitamo yawe ibintu bito bishobora kugusenyera.


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Dr. John Gottman ; umuhanga mu bijyanye n’umubano n’imiryango, mu bushakashatsi yakoze yagaragaje ko ku isi hose abashakanye bagera kuri 91 ku ijana (91%) mu myaka 40 baba bakeneye gatanya n’ubwo bose atari ko bayibona n’ubwo baba barashakanye bagaragaza ko bakundana. Mu bushakashatsi bwe yerekana impamvu zishobora kugeza abantu ku kumva ko batagishaka kubana bagahitamo gutandukana.

1. Kumena amabanga y’urugo

Akenshi iyo umwe mu bashakanye agiye avuga mugenzi we cyangwa amena amabanga y’urugo ntibyorohera undi kubyihanganira kuko ahita yumva ko uwo yita ko bajya inama nta banga agira bigatuma yahitamo gutandukana nawe.

2. Guhorana intonganya

Kutavugana neza mu rugo rw’abashakanye ni kimwe mu bituma umwe mu bashakanye afata icyemezo cyo gutana n’uwo babanaga kuko nta muntu wapfa kwihanganira mugenzi we babana mu rugo uhora avuga nabi kuko iyo abantu bashakanye, baba bakeneye kugira ibyishimo mu rugo rwabo. Iyo umwe mu bashakanye akomeje kwihanganira intonganya zihora mu rugo, igihe kiragera kwa kwihangana kugashira akumva batandukana.

3. Kumva amabwire

Amagambo ashobora kwinjira mu rugo rw’abashakanye bakayaha umwanya ajya atuma umwe yumva azinutswe undi kubera ibyo abwirwa bitari byiza k’uwo babana.umuntu ukeneye kubakana n’uwo bashakanye kandi bakabana akaramata ntaba agomba kumva amabwire ngo ayahe agaciro

4. Gushaka kwikubira

Abenshi mu bashakanye bakunze gupfa imitungo aho usanga umwe ashaka indonke ku giti cye akirengagiza uwo bashakanye, bigatuma haza umwuka mubi mu rugo kuko umwe aba atitaye ku wundi. Abashakanye ntibaba bakwiye gutandukanwa n’ibintu nk’ibi mu gihe babanye bakundana by’ukuri kuko akenshi baba barasezeranye kuzabana akaramata, niyo mpanvu baba bagomba kwihanganirana muri byose kandi bakubakira ku kuri n’ibiganiro, aho bitagenda neza bagasasa inzobe bakabicoca bigakemuka umunezero ukarushaho gutemba mu rugo rwabo

5. Kutajya inama mu rugo

Iyo abantu babana batajya inama mu rugo rwabo ngo bafate ingamba zo kurwubaka rugakomera ahubwo ibyemezo byose bigafatwa n’umuntu umwe, usanga hari ubangamiwe bigasa nk’aho we ntacyo amaze mu rugo maze akaba yatekereza gutandukana n’uwo bashakanye kuko aba abona nta bufatanye buri mu rugo.

Author : ISHIMWE JANE

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